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Camp Coachella

Two More Dead

Just kidding, I'm the one in summery festival wear. Can you spot me? I’m the drunk one.

So, I’m back. Cue the party poppers and the loud reverie of all my adoring fans. If you just hear crickets, don’t worry, that IS the reverie, those ARE my fans. I do very well on the insect circuit.

 

Anyway. I’m writing this because you asked me to make a post about my Coachella experiences.  This is me doing just that. It’s funny. When you initially asked me to write about it, I balked pretty hard. I was already self conscious about going to (what I perceived to be) an event people attend solely so they can say they were there, now I had to become what I hate most by actually blogging about it. But then we got to Palm Springs and we all started drinking and I quickly forgot notions of propriety and my stupid high horse (I’ve since…

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World’s Best Mom

Alive In You

That’s a lofty title, I know. And believe it or not, I know her. Even more amazing (to me) is that I’m married to her.

One might think the world’s best mom would be someone with years of motherly experience and a number of kids — someone who has been doing it for a long time. My wife, Katie, doesn’t come close to qualifying under those terms. You see, we’re new parents. Our first son, Randol Thomas, was born on Thursday at 12:56 a.m. at the incredibly young gestational age of 25 weeks and 4 days. That happy moment had a sad ending when our baby boy lost his life later that morning at 5:20 a.m. after struggling for hours to try and breathe with what we knew were severely underdeveloped lungs — something we knew would be an issue after my wife’s water broke at just 18 weeks.

So how could…

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Party Like it’s 1925

Classically Educated

1920s  House Party

Here at Classically Educated, we think that everyone takes themselves much too seriously.  Hell, we’ll probably be accused of taking ourselves too seriously.  In fact, the very name “Classically Educated” reeks of pretentious big-headedness.  So we are officially declaring this week the “Week of Not Taking Ourselves or the Week of Easter Seriously”, also known by its simple acronym, WONT OOT WOES.  Our article on Thursday will probably poke some sort of  fun at something around Easter, but we had no article for today.

So, in the time-honored tradition of blogs everywhere, we asked a vampire to send us an article about how to party to run on Easter week.  I imagine all the other blogs are doing the same thing.  Well, at least those that recognize the universal truth that vampires haven’t been overdone.  Anyway, H’s post is below.  You may have read it before, but we don’t care.

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Bubba’s Laws of Intelligence (and/or stupidity)

Ubiquitous Bubba's Blog

Zeroth law of intelligence: If two systems are in intellectual equilibrium with a third system, they must be in intellectual equilibrium with each other. This law helps define the notion of intellect. The hypothesis is intended to allow the existence of an empirical parameter, the intellect, as a property of a system such that systems in intellectual equilibrium with each other have the same intellect. The law as stated here is compatible with the use of a particular physical being, for example a middle aged LARPer, to match the intellect of other beings, but does not justify regarding intellect as a quantity that can be measured on a scale of real numbers.

 First law of intelligence: Because stupidity is conserved, the internal stupidity of a system changes as idiocy flows in or out of it. Equivalently, people that violate the first law (liars) are impossible. Idiocy is the flow of stupidity from one person…

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Look Sharp!

Psy-Q

We all know that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. But we all do it anyway. If I were to show you some faces, you’d find it pretty easy to make a snap judgment of –say – how clever they look. But this would just be prejudice, right? You couldn’t, just by looking, guess people’s actual intelligence. Could you?

Let’s try. Below are three men. Rank them in order of intelligence from most to least (these aren’t real people, but composites created – in each case – by averaging across lots of difference faces).

Image And now the same for women.Image

Scroll down to find out the rankings that most people give.

Image Photo credit: http://colorfully.eu/dont-judge-a-book-by-its-cover-only/#!prettyPhoto-7611/0/

For the male faces, most people rate the man on the right as the most intelligent, and the man on the left as the least. For the female faces, most people rate the woman…

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The War Within

Cool.

Soonest Mended

By Mika Kasuga

I was a little bemused when I saw that the NSA scandal caused sales of 1984, George Orwell’s masterpiece, to rise more than 3,000 percent.  Although it warms my heart to see exponential book sales – for a title that isn’t Fifty Shades, too – the world that Orwell imagined has not come to pass.

 In 1984, the figure of Big Brother watches over the citizens of Oceania, enforcing total obedience to the following maxims:

 WAR IS PEACE

FREEDOM IS SLAVERY

IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

 Antonyms can be synonyms, if Big Brother makes it so: by reconciling opposites, the official language of Big Brother, called Newspeak, aims to diminish the range of thought and make insubordination impossible. Whether Oceania is at war,  against whom, and why  is irrelevant. Orwell’s dystopic vision is rooted in opposition, in the assumption that only an outside threat can…

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Treat yourself: An open letter to the Class of 2014

Meaghan McGoldrick

006_6_2

To the Class of 2014,

This is it. One month ’till May and, odds are, you’re feeling numb and nauseous. The walls are closing in, all rugs have been pulled out and you’re compulsively spell-checking your resumé (while simultaneously snapchatting, putting off that ten-page paper and planning your next pregame). In six or so weeks you’ll be saying goodbye — to friends, to family, to weeknight whiskey specials — because an Irish Exit isn’t in the cards anymore. Not for four years of college.

You’re scared, (see also: restless, sleep-deprived, and a slave to happy hour), and that’s okay.

Trust your convictions. Go out on a Tuesday even though it’s raining and you know the bar’s full of freshmen. Have one, or ten too many people over (your neighbors won’t hold that title much longer) and stop censoring your rounds of slapcup. Put a ten in the jukebox. Take more selfies. Wear more sweatpants…

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