Medicine, Social

Grateful

We have this patient always for difficult extraction. The first time I extracted blood from her she was happy and informed me that my hands were light and she wishes that it was always me who did the job.

Tonight, I was informed there was another extraction at the wards. And as soon as I walked into the room, it was the same patient and she gave me this smile and an expression of happiness.

It felt so good, seeing a patient react to you in that manner. And I am so lucky to be doing what I love and only dreamt of when I was little.

It was an amazing feeling.

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Medicine, Uncategorized

One day…

As the days go by and as i am nearing completion of my medical post graduate internship… I ask myself time and time again… Why did i choose medicine?????? I keep telling myself itll all be worth it in the end… But the years, sacrifices, time and effort spent… I realize slowly, its just too much.

I wonder, if id taken a different path.. Will i have less repeated questions?

As i delve in deeper into medicine… Im beginning to feel unhappy. All i ever wanted to be was to become an oncologist but before i get there… I have a lot of stairs to climb. And each step aint easy. Its getting harder and difficult and it takes out a lot of you from yourself. I know this doesnt makes sense. But thats what im feeling now.

Im slowly doubting myself, if i have what it takes to go through all these things to become such… I feel like if continue with this choice of career.. Ill slowly lose myself.

I guess what im most afraid of… Is that one day… Ill wake up… And im no longer happy.

—– since i was 6 y/o all i ever wanted to be was to become an oncologist doctor… And now im 25y/o… It feels like i dont even wanna be in this kind of profession. But i still have that in me “ill be a doctor” kind of feeling/goal/dream

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Medicine, Uncategorized

During OR

While we were performing appendectomy earlier, a scrub nurse told me “doctor, if i get admitted ill be under your service and all will be free”. I replied, “sure, ill even admit you at a first class hospital, however im your oncology specialist”. Then he turned down the offer 🙂

No one wants to be under an oncologist because it is almost always bad news.

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Medicine

Id rather

Struck up a conversation with a consultant, who was also my doctor, wherein we discussed different specialties. I told her i was going take internal medicine after which subspecialize in oncology. She asked me why onco because it was a depressing area. I told her i had that life changing event in my life. Why IM? Because it is an ever changing field and you look at the whole person.

She then told me, if she wasnt where she was at now, she wouldve taken up IM as well. But why not go for ob, derma, surgery, etc the less complicated specialties in medicine. I said, i have a strong gut feeling that there will be big changes in the oncology field.

She marked at me, “so you’d rather tell your patients that they’re dying”.. I went back at her and told her, “i’d rather tell my patients that they’re going to be okay”.

You see, the reason why i want to be a doctor is because i want to make a change. And i believe that it is in that field (oncology) that i will be a great contribution to society and people.

So here’s to telling people, there’s hope. 🙂

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