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That’s What I Want….

Anonymous Poet

I don’t want you to just be just my wife and have babies with me, But I also want you to hide my credit cards so I can’t spend a lot. (Because you will be doing that part.)

I don’t want just to hold your hands when you are happy, but I surely want you to hold my hands when you are sad.

I don’t want you to do washing and cooking for me, but I really want to help you in your works.

I don’t want you just to say “I Love You” every time we meet, But I want you to Kiss me every time like we are meant to be with each others.

I don’t just want just to see you in your eyes every night and say good night, But I really want to kiss you and wake up every morning.

I don’t want just to…

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All I wanted was to be rich and famous.

Funny for Nothing

What is the toughest question you’ve ever been asked?

For me, “Fries – large or medium?” and “Are you out of your mind?” are top contenders. But they aren’t the toughest questions I’ve ever been asked – not by a long shot.

No, the undoubted winner is “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

I like to call this question the ‘How It All Began’ question. I’ll explain.

Imagine this: You’re three years old and your parents have guests over. You’re busy playing with your ‘Barney-the-dinosaur’ soft toy. All of a sudden, there’s a lull in the conversation. Nobody knows what to say, so all eyes slowly turn towards you. You’re too young and innocent to know that you are the next victim. “Aww, what a sweet child,” one lady croons. She looks straight at you and asks, “So, what do you want to be when you…

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Thank God For This Toothache.

TRUDGING THROUGH THE FIRE

1.200 bucks?  I'd rather suffer eternally. 1,200 bucks? I’d rather suffer eternally.

It’s been kind of a shitty few weeks here at Trudge Inc.  By that, I mean not my version of Heaven on Earth.  Which I realize is a tall order.  But this version didn’t even come close.  Not to what I’d prefer to orchestrate.  As my version.  Which, although perhaps a little complicated to arrange, wouldn’t cost very much.  Except maybe in hurt feelings.

Anyway, this was something very else.

Some low-grade depression, some ass-kicking physical pain, and a sprinkling of mid-ranged irritants.  All culminating with an ill-timed blow-up with my mom.  The day before her birthday.  Yeah I know.  I’m the worst son ever.  But I don’t want to brag about my ranking.  Fact is we fired at each other at point blank range with armor-piercing rounds.  And that seems to have brought up all these unpleasant feelings.  For both of us.  Go…

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I Need To Talk To The Person In Charge Of Changing Humans Into Dogs

Half and Half

I went out with my roommates last night and drank too much wine.  Story of my life.

Earlier this morning, I watched this video to help cure my hangover and take my mind off the fact that I have to sit in a rolly chair for the next eight hours and stare at my computer screen.

And then I realized… I’m so jealous of dogs.

Forget girls with nice hair, girls who can plow through three bacon cheeseburgers and not gain a pound, girls who have their dream job before age twenty-five, girls (and boys) with independently wealthy families that get to exclusively shop at Whole Foods. Forget all of them.

I want to be a dog.

Aside from the fact that they get to know one another by smelling butts, being a dog is pretty awesome.  I guess I could also do without the whole eating bark flavored…

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What Students Really Need to Hear

AFFECTIVE LIVING

It’s 4 a.m.  I’ve struggled for the last hour to go to sleep.  But, I can’t.  Yet again, I am tossing and turning, unable to shut down my brain.  Why?  Because I am stressed about my students.  Really stressed.  I’m so stressed that I can only think to write down what I really want to say — the real truth I’ve been needing to say — and vow to myself that I will let my students hear what I really think tomorrow.

This is what students really need to hear:

First, you need to know right now that I care about you. In fact, I care about you more than you may care about yourself.  And I care not just about your grades or your test scores, but about you as a person. And, because I care, I need to be honest with you. Do I have permission to be…

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Audiences clapping along to music

middle class fury

Clapping-audience-001

Hello, how are you?

(Don’t answer that out loud – I can’t hear you)

Well, it’s been a while. Between Christmas infiltrating my life with its tinselly tendrils, and my place of employ working me harder than a ex-Radio 1 DJ’s defence lawyer, I have been neglecting my blog of late. But you know, during this brief sojourn away from t’internet, it struck me that it may very well be the case that I have mellowed. See, there used to be things that wound me up so frequently and incessantly that hitting my blog and venting about it was more a necessity than a hobby. During the admittedly short time I was abstaining from this sort of catharsis, I could have sworn a feeling of belligerent acceptance was slowly washing over me – that yes, sure, there were still things in life that bothered me, and the majority of people…

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