As the days go by and as i am nearing completion of my medical post graduate internship… I ask myself time and time again… Why did i choose medicine?????? I keep telling myself itll all be worth it in the end… But the years, sacrifices, time and effort spent… I realize slowly, its just too much.
I wonder, if id taken a different path.. Will i have less repeated questions?
As i delve in deeper into medicine… Im beginning to feel unhappy. All i ever wanted to be was to become an oncologist but before i get there… I have a lot of stairs to climb. And each step aint easy. Its getting harder and difficult and it takes out a lot of you from yourself. I know this doesnt makes sense. But thats what im feeling now.
Im slowly doubting myself, if i have what it takes to go through all these things to become such… I feel like if continue with this choice of career.. Ill slowly lose myself.
I guess what im most afraid of… Is that one day… Ill wake up… And im no longer happy.
—– since i was 6 y/o all i ever wanted to be was to become an oncologist doctor… And now im 25y/o… It feels like i dont even wanna be in this kind of profession. But i still have that in me “ill be a doctor” kind of feeling/goal/dream